Muddleheaded’s Weblog

I can not make anybody to stop what they are saying. I let them say whatever they want to say. I am just here in this world to listen to people and even my own opinion doesn’t matter to me, so how can I insist upon it for somebody else.

How the day starts, what it brings during its course and how it’s going to end? You can never know. And in my case I feel it’s a little more unpredictable. I started the day with zeal and to add in it more, my boss got happy with me for I don’t know what reason. He told me that whatever I was doing, I was working in the very right direction and I should keep it up. Everybody at office takes his this kind of remarks as tremendous praise. So I too felt myself at the height of confidence and self esteem. As a result, I worked all day like a dog and didn’t feel any trace of weariness until pack up. I came back home late and while I was entering my house, at my doorstep, my cell rang and guess what – its like – my dream came true. I got a call from S which I was longing for the past 6 months. We talked a lot about this and that and my emotional level rose from happy to ecstatic. But then he asked me something which was to be the motive of the decline in my emotional level of happiness from contention to depression or even down below later. He didn’t even listen to what I had to say about the matter and picked me out in the middle of myself – blamed me for not being wise, protective and at a giving end – gave me thousands of advices about what is love actually although in the beginning he told me that I was wise enough to need any advices and he was just going to give me some suggestions. In the beginning I wanted to tell him all of it as a friend, to share some bad feelings and later I wanted to tell him because I just wanted to prove myself right, but he wasn’t ready to listen on both occasions. So finally – failed in my objective – I decided to wind up the conversation. It didn’t end well.

Later the conversation kept echoing in my head and I ended up pulling out all the memorable and unmemorable things out of my head and out of my closet. Kept thinking and kept looking at the things – going down and down. I was perturbed too much deep when I got another call from A. I could hardly utter out a meek hello. He got that something is wrong – kept asking me what’s new? and stupid questions like that. May be he was expecting same cheery of myself like I always have been with him but I was not like an entertaining creature at that time at all. So bored because of my attitude he cut off the call. I sent him a simple message containing a question mark. He replied that there was some network error so the call couldn’t go on n bla bla bla… I got the point so I sent, “bored of me?” and the reply was predictable and I don’t like predictability in life.

I inferred two results from it, either both of them are applicable or one of them at least at a time. The first one might be lame for you guys but its true; people who you call and take as friends aren’t friends actually. Second; there are many types of friends. Some of them just for fun purpose, some with whom you have to be friends for the sake of carrying out your daily life tasks and very few of them are for discussing your problems. The later conclusion seems more objective in terms of applicability to the modern world.