Cest La vie… August 19, 2008
Posted by muddleheaded in Sentiments.Tags: Emotions, Life
1 comment so far
Leaving someone you have met recently and you were not given the chance to have all that you wanted to have, leaves you in a condition through which it is hard to get out for a person who is stubborn or in a positive sense: consistent. One must feel like a photograph which has been taken while the object in consideration is moving swiftly. The resultant display consists of the image of the object itself but in blur and its color trails left behind. Giving a feel that the object is being drained off its colors and its life by some force which is trying to hold it back towards it. What a scene? What a misfortune? What an irony that would be? And above that you never know whether you will be getting chance to see that person again or not. But I guess that’s how life is. Cest la vie…
My Passion August 1, 2008
Posted by muddleheaded in Creative Arts.Tags: Creative Arts, Drawings, Paintings
2 comments
This is what I do whenever I get some time alone. Very few people know that I’m in to such stuff [I mean painting n all that] but truth is that I can never live without it. Its my window to the outer world… a channel to communicate to express my weird ideas about people and things and their relations with each other.
- Imagination
- Shut out
- Pup
- Winters
My Powers August 1, 2008
Posted by muddleheaded in Poems.Tags: Parents, Personal
1 comment so far
I was a little child then
With my little world around
Comprising both of you
You cared for me then and always
And when I just began to speak
You adduced playfully
My meaningless voice
With the meaningful things
Oh father!
You took me to mother
And you said
How beautiful he is
And mother
You caressed and kissed me
And replied
Because he is our baby
You gave me confidence
You taught me step by step
You made me see the world
You brought me up with your love
You made the thing I am
You stayed awake for my pain
You did everything for me
You are my powers, tell me
How can i ever thank you
How should I ever love you
An Eve at a Restuarant August 1, 2008
Posted by muddleheaded in People.Tags: Face Reading
1 comment so far
I was sitting in a small restaurant yesterday. I wasn’t supposed to be there at that time of the day or that day at all and that too alone. But I had to kill time till my friend reaches and then we would be going for shopping. So I had nothing to do but to wait for him and empty mind always has some innovative ideas. Added to the situation is the presence of one of the spells that I’m used to have. In that I’m usually numb and non-responsive to the rest of the world but in fact that’s the time when I am feeling the most of everything, feeling the things which I should feel and the things which I should not be caring at all. So out of nowhere I started reading the faces of people around me, some sitting savoring or waiting for the ordered eatables or even haven’t yet ordered and some of them coming in and going out of the open door.
So I looked around for the most interesting face available there as the starter and I found the waiter, the guy whom I know for three or may be four years. But it was the first time that I was noticing how happy he was. It was the first time I saw the bright smile he had always been bearing and in his eyes there is nothing but satisfaction, truth and purity. I mean I couldn’t believe it. How I can be so shallow in perceiving him and how he can be so happy with the kind of living he is earning. Then as any ordinary person would do, I stated that “he is just doing his job and his smile is fake, just to satisfy his customers”. But is it customer satisfaction at all important in a restaurant like that? He seemed amazing in the whole world to me. I was yet contemplating over it and there entered the second character of the play. The guy was sitting on the table next to me towards left. He was wearing white cotton Kurta which was overdone with the starch thing and having a Tilay Walee Chapal on his feet. In front of him was placed neatly a most recent model cell phone, keys to the car, his cigarette case and a branded sun glasses. He seemed to be a well off businessman who was accompanied by a relatively sheepish guy who seemed ready to please him in any possible way he could. I had concluded until now that this guy is a lucky, successful and happy person if not the happiest person on earth. But my thoughts were marred by my most recent experience, so I was looking for something deeper and I did find it. He had the most panicky expressions on his well shaved face. Every line on his face told the story of tension, depression and anxiety. There were so much there that I can’t even name all of them. But the most chaotic were his eyes, narrow, dark and bulging eyes. I simply lost in the complexities and I found ten thousand expressions but sadly all of them negative. So in the end I made an abstract that he is the present day man living for the world around him. My conclusion drifted my thought back to where I was and I tried to find someone else. The first person I stuck my eyes upon was a man of age 45 years or above. I saw him entering the door and I was looking at his face and I felt some disturbing and kind of embarrassed expression on his face. I was a little bit of startled. As he moved towards a table my focus shifted to the line of women(must be his wife and daughters) following him in the restaurant and I immediately came to know why he was feeling uncomfortable of me staring at him. So I left him on his own and checked for the time. My friend was about to reach at the decided place and by this time I should have been out of the restaurant but I decided contrarily and glued to my seat. I was enjoying being there. I thought of borrowing a paper and pen from the waiter so that I can write what I am writing now but I felt embarrassed(I don’t know why) to ask him and then even sit there writing this stuff. So finally I got up thinking that I would fabricate the rest of story after this point. But now while writing this I don’t want to be a liar in the name of fiction. So ending this one with no conclusion at all… why we all look for a conclusion for every written piece? Not this time this time at least.
The Ant Story July 1, 2008
Posted by muddleheaded in Character.Tags: Ants, Contemplation
2 comments
Just when I was having a cigerette break in office, I saw an ant climbing up the wall where I was standing. I kept watching it until it came to my shoulder level. And out of nowhere, all of a sudden I blew on her hardly and let her fall down to where it started its journey. And just at that moment I thought “why would I do that?” the follow up thought was “I always do this to ants”. But why? I couldn’t answer it. May be I have the years old revenge holding inside me against the ants. I remember when I was a kid I used to play around with ants. Every kid does it but I guess you would not expect an adult to do it. I was regretting later on for how hard it was for her to climb from ground level to around 6 feet high wall. But hello! look at her. She started her journey all over again. Such an untiring ass. How could she do that? I have the tendency of being stuborn but not of this kind. So that shows how ants differ from humans or to say it loud better than humans. Many of us fall down chasing our dreams and don’t care to climb again or don’t have the will to climb. Am I being too righteous? In the early morning today while getting ready I was thinking I should be forgiving and try to spread love everywhere [ duh! ]. But somebody inside me screamed out aloud “STOP TRYING TO BE A GOD… STOP TRYING TO BE GOOD WHEN YOU ARE NOT”… and that really has put me in contemplation for how good, how righteous I can be. But do I really have the other option? I don’t think so. Nobody has it in fact. Nobobdy can act bad and still survive. Everybody has to act the way God pleases…
My First One June 29, 2008
Posted by muddleheaded in Uncategorized.Tags: First
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So the first one is coming this way. I have never been impressed or attracted to blogging ever and I would have never written one if I haven’t got the chance to see a blog written by somebody a few days ago. It was so interesting and motivating that finally it got me sitting here to sign up and then writing something here. So all the credit goes to him.
Thinking, over what lines should I write one, first I considered to write everything true but then I purged the idea because if you are smart enough you will be able to read between the lines. But it doesn’t mean that this whole blog will always be a lie, NO, I wrote the above lines just to keep the interest going on. Do I seem confused to you? =)) Well that’s how I am sometimes… and right now that phase is totally the controlling authority.
I planned to open up many layers of my very self here. So if you are looking for something deeper inside me, then you are at the appropriate place. May be you spend years with me but you might never know what I am actually because if you will ask my friends… my closest friends I mean, they even wouldn’t be able to describe me much. Its only because I keep my things to myself very much… [uptight ass =))] advertently or inadvertently, that I don’t know. I have come to know my this nature, so that’s why I started to write here. May be this will correct me in someway. There is always a room for correction, isn’t it? At least I believe in it. This I’m saying by the experience. A few years earlier I have been very different, rather not so good [its too hard to criticize oneself...] But over the time, I guess I’m getting better. This is not just what I claim, people around me say that.
I’m bragging about myself since I started this text. But SO WHAT? this blog is for me only. Let me be a little selfish and I intend to be this way for a longer period, so make up your mind. Are you gonna visit here again or not? The choice is yours…



